Smartcuts vs. Shortcuts: Micro versus Macro Relationship Management
Technology has made almost every activity in our daily lives easier and faster. This enables us to accomplish so much more than previous generations—not only more quickly, but in some cases, seemingly effortlessly. It has given us, for example, the means to produce results in less time, helping to free up more time for other things in our daily lives. Our productivity is boosted dramatically.
Take the microwave oven. Most of us enjoy the convenience of a hot meal virtually immediately. Having said that, though, I’m sure none of us would wish to have a microwaved TV dinner every night, compared to the more-likely healthier and pleasurable “home cooked” meal that takes more effort and time, and yes, even care to prepare. The distinction, therefore, is that investment in time is proportionate to the enjoyment of the end result. There is no way around it.
The dictionary defines a shortcut as “a method or means of doing something more directly and quickly than and often not so thoroughly as by ordinary procedure” (emphasis added). It is that word “thoroughly” that ought to stand out to you when it comes to your approach to your relationships where the intent and need is to create, develop, and sustain meaningful relationships that produce effective and valuable results over long periods of time, and with it further strengthening your reputation across your various networks. When it comes to building deep and enduring relationships, and as Tina Turner sings in Proud Mary, those just can’t be achieved “nice and easy.”
Some of the synonyms for shortcut are perhaps even more blunt: bypass, dodge, get around, and sidestep—just to name a few. None of these can be used to describe the process of building purposeful relationships. Cooking food quickly and having immediate information results are fine for those types of needs, but the same cannot be applied by the use of technology toward relationship development and management.
Technology can certainly help you learn about a person in the beginnings of what could become a real relationship. However, with all of its power and speed, technology is not a substitute for what it takes to produce satisfying, and hopefully, repeatable results. You don’t even need technology for that. What do you need? You need to resist the urge to confuse immediate gratification without true investment and instead place value on constructing relationships that last.
The double-edged sword of technology gives immediate self-gratification by helping forge emotional connections, but maintaining them requires discipline and ongoing effort. The pursuit of healthy and rewarding relationships exists in proportion to the amount of time, intensity, trust and reciprocity that you have poured into them.
In other words, the rewards are worth the investment. To that end, we must consistently re-evaluate why we are building relationships and whether the desired outcomes are worth the effort required to attain them.
Shortcuts lead to shallow relationships and offer little depth from which to draw upon in the future. To achieve consistent success from your relationships, don’t look for shortcuts. Instead make “smartcuts,” by applying those thoughtful efforts and actions that lead to real, enduring, and reliable relationships. In other words, it’s those “smart” efforts vs. expeditious ones will result in what I like to call the social capital of relationship value.
You may rely on technology and social media to provide immediate information on someone, but if that’s as far as you go, you’ll never know how that relationship could have progressed or what opportunities it might have afforded. This “macro” view leads you to believe that through technology-enabled information shortcuts, relationship results will be achieved. Unfortunately, that is at odds with the investment of effort and “relationship drill down” built over time required to produce solid networks—personal and professional.
Where social media blasts and email newsletters are an effective means of communicating a message to an audience, they don’t do much in the way of building a lasting connection. The opposite to this “macro” approach could be as simple as sending a text message at a crucial time, say the anniversary of a loved one’s passing.
As it applies to relationships, “smartcuts” may be calendar reminders and push notifications to follow up with someone after you get together or talk on the phone. Those “micro” efforts have lasting effects on how others perceive you and in turn how they perceive your value of them. The irony of making smartcuts is that they not only produce big results, they can lead to a shortcut on your path toward achieving your personal goals and ultimately your overall success.
The Missing Link of Making Meaningful Connections
I am decidedly in favor of using Contact Management and Customer Relationship Management solutions and have a determined view of the kind of data to populate them with. However, the question should be asked of any user of these kinds of solutions, “Do they really, and I mean really, create and sustain genuine connections with those I deal with in my various networks?” To those of you who might have readily said they have, let me then ask these follow-up questions: Could they be even more effective? If so, what would it take to achieve even greater success?
The “Traditional” View
Collecting and storing facts about the people in my networks are what Relationship Management (RM) tools are designed to do. Creating a profile for an individual is thus an aggregation of information, collected over time and enhanced with every new piece of information. This is the baseline of “getting to know” those you deal with better. Knowing that you like a particular sports team can certainly help to “personalize” your efforts at establishing a relationship, for example. That is much better than just knowing their title and other exclusively business-related information, but it is a far cry from reaching the full potential of that “relationship.” Meaningful relationships are about about much more than data collection. The value of collecting data exists truly as a foundation and a place from which to grow.
It’s Not About Just Relationships – It’s About Connections
Real meaningful and sustainable relationships are the result of a “connection” that occurred between two people and is just as important to achieve in business as it is in your personal life. That’s not to say that business connections become lifelong personal friends—it’s not to say they couldn’t either, though. When you think of those people with whom you feel connected, chances are they are in your personal network. Yet think of the value of those connections and what they mean. What did it take to initiate and sustain that connection?
It most likely required something rarely mentioned with regards to how best to optimize RM solutions and achieve the kind of relationships that they are supposedly intended to help you achieve. While is rarely mentioned, it’s crucial to bridging the gap between relationships and true connections. Stopping short leaves an opening for competitors to fill as well and thus further handicaps further progress in your pursuits with those in your business networks. What are these other pieces of information left un-entered in your RM profiles that could be the catalyst of opening up the full potential of those elusive “connections”?
The Missing Link
The thing, that thing, that it takes to establish a real connection with people of any kind is vulnerability—yours. The business relationships that you stand to have the strongest bonds with are those that go beyond the “data collection” type of information to exchanges in which you have shared something authentic (read vulnerable) about yourself with them. Scientific studies bear this out. As counterintuitive as it may seem, when you share something about yourself with them, something beyond the apparent reason you are developing the relationship for strict business purposes, you have allowed your weakness to be your strength. In my own experience, when I have had the chance to share some private side of myself, I simply include that in the contact’s profile (in my case, in Vipor CRM) with a simple tag of “PS,” which signifies that I have personally shared something about myself with this person.
Sharing an authentic and humble revelation about yourself with others is an extremely powerful and seldom-used technique to establish a genuine connection with people. For example, I have created tight connections with business people simply by sharing a personally authentic story about myself and more often than not, we both get a laugh out of it. It can be something as silly as having spilled coffee on my shirt while driving to an appointment with someone. We end up laughing at my expense, but it helps create that all-important and elusive “emotional” connection.
Those types of simple gestures more often than not lead to an unfolding level of shared information on a more personal level. Those vulnerabilities can help you to achieve success at a greater rate than simply gathering facts and numbers.